Posts Tagged ‘Bryant Gumbel’

Keepin’ It Real Thursday: Going for the Juggler?

December 6, 2007

As we announced last week, every Thursday is what we call “Keepin’ It Real Thursday.” It’s a tip of our hat to the Dallas Cowboy wide receivers, who we will almost certainly see later this year.

This is from

Every Thursday is confidential “Keep It Real Thursday” at Valley Ranch, where the receivers spend five or 10 minutes airing anything that’s on their minds. “You can’t forget we’re people, too,” rookie Isaiah Stanback said.

So here’s what is on my mind today. As I was driving around Iowa last night, I tuned in to Sirius NFL Radio’s “Late Hits” with Bryan McGovern and Jerry Rice. Now, it is surely the case that Jerry Rice is one of the greatest players in the history of professional sports. He is not, however, one of the greatest commentators in the history of broadcasting. ESPN’s Emmitt Smith has gotten lots of grief for his mangling of the English language this year and he deserves it. Same with Bryant Gumbel with the NFLN. (I won’t be able to hear the game tonight, so please email with any good Gumbelism’s.) And we’ve been very critical of the moron that is Brian Baldinger.

Nobody keeps track of all of this stuff than the guys at Awful Announcing. (From whom I learned that Packer fans will not have to put up with Baldinger again this Sunday. Thank God.)

Anyway, Jerry Rice is special. He repeatedly referred last night to the “linemens” who protect the quarterback and made several similar verbal gaffes. But what really got me was his inexplicable animus toward the most benign entertainers in the world: Jugglers. I mean, these are guys who generally just throw balls in the air in a rotating fashion with a dopey look on their faces. If they’re really good, they use knives, or torches. I saw one guy juggle chainsaws. Cool.

Check this out. These guys drink Pabst.

Do you see these guys hurting anyone? No. And yet all night long Jerry Rice kept telling the NFL players he was interviewing — in some cases 300-pound linemens — to “go for the juggler.”

Why Jerry? What did the jugglers ever do to you? Don’t be hatin.

Bryant Gumbel likes “pretty” things

November 30, 2007

When Gumbel was talking about the incredibly ugly stadium last night, he mysteriously mentioned on two occasions how “pretty” it looked against the Dallas skyline. That would have been a nice comment: 1) if it were true 2) if he was a woman talking to other women or 3) if his audience was the Today Show.