For some of us, the pain of a post-Favre era for the Packers is just becoming reality. If you’re like me, and cannot bear to deal with this sad new world, you might consider a trip to Dodgeville, Wisconsin. I’m looking to book a room soon at Don Q’s FantaSuite Hotel, to escape the real world for a while. Among its offerings: the Northern Lights Suite, featuring a “full-sized Igloo with a waterbed, whirlpool surrounded-by mirrors, overlooks a serene arctic landscape under the warm glow of the Northern Lights.” Or there is the Sherwood Forest, featuring a “king-sized bed nestled among the trunks of real trees, forest-setting whirlpool and CD player.” Or Casino Royale, featuring a “Queen sized bed with lighted mirror and walk up whirlpool surrounded by mirrors, Red/Black decor, Vegas style. AM/FM radio.” (Editor’s Note: They’re advertising the AM/FM radio?) There is Mid-Evil, which “features a queen-sized bed, shackles on the bed, and chair and a heart-shaped hydro-therapy tub.”
Andy, being a diehard Star Trek fan, has dibs on Tranquility Base, which is a “recreaion [sic] of a Gemini Space Capsule, ‘moon crate’ whirlpool, VCR and CD player.” So I’m settling for Shotgun, with “a queen-sized bed done in a hunting theme, old shotguns on the walls and a 300 gallon copper cheese vat tub and shower.”
I wonder if I can get them to fill the tub with Cheese Whiz and leave bags of Tostitos along the side. I’ll bring a couple coolers full of Pabst and never leave.