Judging from our emails, comments and phone calls this watching-lame-TV-with-your-wife problem is apparently something of an epidemic. In my very scientific survey last night — asking some people at a cocktail party — the consensus is that Brother Andy is completely lame. How, I was asked repeatedly, could he just give in to his wife’s pleadings? Doesn’t he have a spine? What’s next, hours of Home & Garden television? (Answer: He already watches that.)
Let me offer something of a defense of my brother. Or at least put his lameness in proper perspective. When we lived together in Arlington, Virginia, we had a roommate who was much worse. We’ll call him “Bob Kapla.” We were all single at the time and our house was a rather typical bachelor pad — not terribly clean, mostly beer in the fridge and nothing but sports, Ali G. or Airplane! on TV.
But Bob didn’t like to watch sports. He didn’t like to watch Airplane or Naked Gun or Office Space or Bottle Rocket, either. He was addicted to women’s television.
At first, we’d come home at catch him watching, say, “Not Without my Daughter” or “The Burning Bed” on Oxygen. Whenever we’d walk in the room, he’d quickly change channels to ESPN or Ultimate Fighting. After a few months, we had caught him so many time he had to embrace it. So he tried to convince us that it was cool. He’d pick up some beers, throw on some sweats and then pop “Must Love Dogs” or “A Walk to Remember” in the DVD player. “Felicity” was appointment television.
Today there’s little doubt this “Bob Kapla” is waiting breathlessly for the new Patrick Dempsey movie, “Made of Honor.”
Anyway, if you’re looking for answers on how to deal with your wife and her lame TV choices or her stealing of the remote, Aaron at Cheesehead.tv offers one option here and this Italian beer commercial demonstrates a technique I’ve used successfully on several occasions.
UPDATE: Our blog stats page tells us that we’re now getting traffic from people searching for “Patrick Dempsey.” Please go away. You, too, “Bob Kapla.”
