Mark Tauscher Naked

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Now that’s a headline that should drive traffic to the site, hey? Think about all of the ladies across the country who have gone to Yahoo! or Google typed in that exact phrase: “Mark Tauscher Naked.”

Well, this will be a disappointment. We have no video or photos of Mark Tauscher in the buff. What we do have is a funny recollection from San Francisco 49ers GM Scott McCloughan, formerly with the Packers. McCloughan talked to Mike Silver of Yahoo! Sports about the beauty contest atmosphere at the NFL Combine. The entire article is interesting and, at times, highly amusing.

“I’ve seen guys with some horrible physiques,” agent Gary Wichard says. “One big guy this year, I kid you not, had C-cups. I’ve seen man-boobs before; these were woman boobs. They looked like implants. I felt so bad for the kid, having to walk around that room with 650 people looking at him and gasping.”

Anyway, McCloughan’s Tauscher comment, which is ultimately a compliment:

“My second-to-last year in Green Bay, we drafted (offensive tackle) Mark Tauscher,” he says. “If you saw him in a pair of underwear, it was just disgusting. He was so soft. Well, guess what – the guy’s been a pretty damn good player for a long time.”

I, for one, don’t see how McCloughan could say that about Tauscher. It’s just not fair — what, 3 percent body fat? I do agree with McCloughan’s second comment, however. Tauscher has been a damn good player for a long time.

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